on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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