Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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