I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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