She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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