I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
