oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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