Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
