is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize