Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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