Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
