We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
