hotel room ftw
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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