Your dad touched me again.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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