It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize