Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
