Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
