We're facebook friends in real life
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
