is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
