Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
