she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
