I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
