The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
