About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
