Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
