what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
