just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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