I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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