So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
