I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
