Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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