One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
