you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
