i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
