he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Everclear isn't food dammit
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
