Soap is not a condiment
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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