Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize