i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
