Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
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