I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
How does one acquire holy water?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
