wat bout pragnant strippers??
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
