im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
