We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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