Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
