I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
