i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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