I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
