After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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