sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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