There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
