we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
