And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
