I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
