The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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