I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
