I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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