i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
