I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
