Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
