whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
