I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
