Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
