Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
