I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Randomize
