new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Two words: blizzard sex
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
