this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize