I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
