no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
