I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
