btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
