Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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