I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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