am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
