Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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