i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
