I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
