That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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