I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize